I begin to recall what soberness was like, just to have it all dashed away again last night. I do stupid things when I drink. I like to drink. Its what i do. It is as much a part of me now as my hand is a part of my body. I don't really know when I began to realize this. But I do now. I do drink to get drunk, I drink just because I feel I need it. I blew 60 bucks on beer at one time before. Not that cheap beer either. That high power imported shit. I'm not a functioning boozer either. I break and fall apart. Like some gear has become loose and is gonna defile myself. You don't even want to know what I was doing last night, and where I found myself this morning. I don't know, not really... not anymore... And I won't quit either not till I am done. Not till something terrible happens or I am dead. One or the other.