Apr 30, 2001

It's not my job I hate, it's the people at my job.

Apr 24, 2001

I am beginning to wonder what in the hell I am doing. I think in the last year or so I haven't accomplished very much. Although now I have alot of stuff! What fun is stuff? I still am not happy in job or love or life. I drink too much... I am going sober though from now on, at least for a little while. I think I tend to sleep alot less and don't do dumb things when I am sober. I even see how redundantly pointless my job is, which is a bit scary. I really don't do anything important here, other than give the few people that call me a warm fuzzy feeling in there stomach. But it's all Bullshit as far as I can tell. It's almost 8 pm and soon I will being going to get some food! I think it's Chic-Fila... I am trying to be more healthy, part of the soberness thing. I even did some pushups this morning. Life is pretty pitiful. It's the decline.

Apr 13, 2001

Life is sucking about now!

Apr 11, 2001

I left the Tuna cans out.. and the can opener on the counter, that is how the cat got so fat!
You know I couldn't sing that shit if i tried! well duhhh but even if I was like Pavarotti or some shit. Remembering words or anything at point of impact is where it all goes away. I forget what I was going to say and even what I was going to do. I studder and stop and eventually fall away into the nothingness that is me. But you know. i must be the fastest two fingered typer you've ever met. So fast in fact that I believe I would waste years learning the correct way to type. I am neanderthal!

Apr 10, 2001

A bit of NoFx.. Just the political shit...
THE DECLINE


Where are all these stupid people from
and how did they get to be so dumb
Bred on purple mountain range
Feed amber waves of grains
To lesser human beings, zero feelings

Blame it on human nature, man's destiny
Blame it on the greediocracy
The fear of God, the fear of change, fear of truth

Add the Bill of Rights
Subtract the wrongs, there's no answers
Memorize and sing
Star spangled songs, when the questions
Aren't ever asked
Is anybody learning from the past
We're living in united stagnation

Father what have I done.
I took that 22.
A gift for me from you to bed with me each night.
Kept it clean polished it well.
Cherished every cartridge every shell

Down by the creek under brush under dirt
There's a carcass of my second kill
Down at the park under stone under pine
There's a carcass of my brother William
Brother where have you gone to I swear
I never thought I could I see so many times
They told me to shoot straight, don't pull
The trigger squeeze, that will insure
A kill, a kill is what you want
To kill is why we breed

The Christians love their guns the church and NRA
Pray for their salvation
Prey on lower faiths
The story book's been read
And every line believed
The curriculum's been set
Logic is a threat
Reason searched + seized

Jerry spent some
Time in Michigan
A 20 year vacation
After all he had a dime
A dime is worth a
Lot more in Detroit
A dime in California
Just a 20 dollar fine
Jerry only stayed
A couple months
It's hard to enjoy
Yourself while
Bleeding out the ass
Asphyxiation is
Simple and fast
It beats 17 fun years
Of being someone's bitch

Don't think
Drink your wine
Watch the fire burn
His problems not mine
Just be that model citizen

I wish I had a schilling for every senseless killing
I'd buy a government. America's for sale and
You can get a good deal on it and make a healthy
Profit, or maybe tear it apart you start with
Assumption, that a million people are smarter than 1

Serotonin's gone she gave up drifted away
Sara fled though process gone
She left her answering machine on
The greeting left spoken sincere
Messages no one will ever hear

10,000 messages a day a million more transmissions lay
Dead victims of the laissez faire 10,000 voices
100 guns, 100 decibels turns to one, one bullet
One empty head now with serotonin gone

The man that used to speak
Performs a cute routine.
Feel a little patronized.
Don't feel bad. They found
A way inside your head
And you feel a bit misled.
It's not that they don't
Care. The television's
Put a thought inside your
Head like a Barry Manilow
Jingle I'd like to teach the
World to sing in perfect
Harmony a symphonic blank
Stare. It doesn't make you care.
Not designed to make you care.
They're betting you wont care.

They'll place a wager on your greed.
A wager on your pride
Why try to beat them when a million others tried

We are the whore.
Intellectually spayed
We are the queer
Dysfunctionally raised

One more pill to kill the pain,
One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain,
Living through conformity
One more prayer should keep me safe.
One more prayer to keep us safe
One more prayer to keep us safe
There's gonna be a better place

Lost the battle lost the war lost the things
Worth living for lost the will to win the fight
One more pill to kill the pain
The going gets tough the tough get debt
Don't pay attention pay the rent our next of kins
Pay for your sins a little faith should keep us safe

Save us

The human existence is failing
Resistance essential. The future
Written off. The odds are astronomically
Against us only
Moron and genius would fight a
Losing battle against the super
Ego when giving in is so damn comforting

And so we go on with our lives we
Know the truth but prefer lies
Lies are simple. Simple is bliss. Why
Go against tradition when we can
Admit defeat. Live in decline. Be there
Victim of our own design
With status quo built on suspect.
Why would anyone stick out their
Neck fellow member of club
We've got ours. I'd
Like to introduce
You to our host
He's got his and I've
Got mine. Meet
THE DECLINE
MURDER THE GOVERNMENT


I wanna see the constitution burn
Wanna watch the white house overturn
Wanna witness some blue blood bleed red

I wanna tar and lynch the KKK
I wanna pull and shoot the NRA
I wanna pay the lobbyists to kill themselves
I wanna dose the DEA
I wanna join the CIA (not really)

It just seems so fucking easy to make this
Country a better place to live.
Illegalize guns and lobbying
(Jail murderers and extortionists)...
Legalize drugs and prostitution
(Free salesmen and saleswomen)...

Murder the government Murder the government
Murder the government And then do it again yeah
Murder the government Murder the government
Murder the government and then
Murder the government
A PERFECT GOVERNMENT


Even if it's easy to be free
What's your definition of freedom?
And who the fuck are you, anyway?
Who the fuck are they?
Who the fuck am I to say?
What the fuck is really going on?
How did the cat get so fat?
Why does the family die?
Do you care why?
'Cause there hasn't been a sign
Of anything gettin' better in the ghetto
People's fed up
But when they get up
You point your fuckin' finger
You racist, you bigot
But that's not the problem
Now is it?
It's all about the money
Political power is takin
Protecting the rich denying the poor
Yeah, they love to watch the war from the White House
And I wonder how can they sleep at night?
How can they sleep at night?
How did the cat get so fat?

Apr 9, 2001

So today is monday, usually the worst day at work that there can ever be, but it ain't so bad right now. I haven't had a call all day, and my tummy is full of Popeyes fried chicken and mashed potatos and gravy. Myplay.com is working again so there is music. Minnie Moo's and hot tea later....Woo Hoo.. Hi Gina..
"Tequila!"

Apr 6, 2001


"Look I called over an hour ago where in the hell is my Large Pizza?"
Today is friday at least, it's like my monday really, but it makes no never. I enjoy the weekend really. Yesterday would have been thursday. I think i may have overreacted to my cell phone breaking. I went out and bought a new one which cost me too much money, don't ask me why I bought the most expensive one they had. All I know is that I wanted it. I had to have it. Then I went to my buddys house and sat around drinking beer. Speaking of beer by the way, I have a batch of a Red Ale brewing in the spare bedrrom, now I am consumed with bottling preparations. I have about 26 bottles, and I only need about 24 more. I guess I better get drinking. I am trying to keep the bottles all the same, and that would be Heineken bottles. I have a few St. Pauli girl; bottles and a few assorted brown ones. I'll use them if neccessary. Lael was supposed to come down from Gainesville on wednesday, but I don't know what happened really.. She said she got here then could reach me. I think her phone is Bunk. Actually I know it is! She should have gotten exact directions to my house before leaving. I gave her my address last night and showed her a Mapquest map. She said she would try again. Who knows...