Speaking of Bob... I dug out the cd he gave me a while ago. The more I listen to it the better it gets. I used not to like the one dudes voice but it's getting better. I guess it was the same with the last RANCID cd. I took some listening to get to jive. I was thinking of getting some drums...I was also thinking of doing some daytrading....but I need the money elsewhere...like invested in a car. I saw a 1971 Porsche 914 in the paper for $1400. I had looked up a pic on the internet and it was disagreeable. I suppose parts for the beast would cost a arm & Leg too. Does anyone else wish they'd hurry up and get that teleportation thing working? Beam me up Scotty!

Bob - " My e-mail address is kenjerski@yahoo.com. I can't remember what your e-mail was. I had it here at work on my computer, but some dumbass wiped it and cleaned all my shit out of it. So it's gone...write me!"

Does anyone else feel like work sucks?

I'm directly in the middle of a double shift, so without pause I thought I'd update. I went out drinking last night and woke up late for work again. I had to take a few movies back. Then there was a dumbass in a corolla that decided to run the light on Ulmerton and 49th. I guess he wanted a closer look at the underside Semi. So there I sat for another 40 minutes. I was about 15 minutes late. Then they fired another guy in my area today. I hope I don't get fired

Okay as you all know my Truck is falling apart. So recently I have been reduced to driving my mothers minivan to work, or given the joy of driving my fathers huge 95 Dodge Ram. Well the other day I was taking the minivan to work, when I jumped inside and first noticed "It smells kinda funny in here". I glanced around behind me to notice a cat in the backseat. I just sorta stared at him and he stared back. I then proceeded to jump out as quickly as possible and run. I then walked around to the other side and open the door so he could get out. He did and quickly found the nearest spot of shade. I went to get my mother and some water for the cat. He was gone when I came back. My mother must have shut him in there the night before when she was getting groceries out of the back. He was in there from about 7 pm til 3 pm the next day. He had tags on his neck so I suppose he had a home. Now the only problem is the smell left behind. That is the reason for the little tree shaped air fresheners from Walgreens. They are purple and they have a nice grape fragrance. Much better than the odourous smell of musty cat!

I was in Walgreens today buying Ginseng Tea and some Car air fresheners (I'll explain later), when I saw this girl who works in the Photo department. She has long dark hair like I like. She most likely has a boyfriend already though. I can't imagine someone like her being alone. I have never walked up to a girl and asked her for a phone number, but in my old age, I'm getting kind of desperate. At least that's how it feels to me. Hows the weather in you part of town? I doubt anything will ever happen with me and her, but the thought is nice.

I will be at work for the next 16 or so hours. So if anyone needs to talk to me call me..727-542-3404... This is my cell phone. I'm not stupid enough to give out my work number. What did you expect?

I was just in the MSN news forum. Learned that most galaxies have a black hole in their center. It just seems kinda funny that there are billions of galaxies in this universe all spiraling toward their inevitable death. Makes me feel kinda like a cog in a giant machine. I like the universe am spiraling toward my death, in the endless cycle of death and rebirth. What comes must surely go.

I just finished talking to Dyana again...It seems she has this problem of breaking up with someone after they get too close. I have the same problem in littler spurts. It makes me feel better to know that this was the reason she dumped me instead of my fault. It was some my fault, but anything a reasonable woman could look over. I will be shooting some more pics for the pic sections soon. I might ravamp the layout of the pages too. I don't really like how the pictures have now definitions... It was brought to my attention a while ago, but now I will be taking care of it! I think I broke my monitor at work...Shhhhhhh....don't tell anyone.. I was going to buy a Drum kit...but I lack the cordination to be a successful drummer. I like music...and trying to create it...I just lack any talent...I am better at ....when I figure what I am better at I'll let you know.

I can see clearly now. Everything is in plain view. I never wanted love like I did before. It's all new and fresh. If you haven't heard my Girlfriend dumped me today. I don't even feel bad about it, I'm glad she did actually. She could do alot better. Lets face it "I SUCK". I was wondering when she would finally learn that. So now I am single, and I am not looking. I want to be alone. Why? you may ask. "Women are insane" this is the conclusion that I came to. I'm still in the market for a new car. I was looking at 2000 Camaro's but the insurance as I learned would kill me. Now I think I will just buy a beater and cruise it around. Insurance is such a stupid idea to begin with. I give you loads of money and then if I wreck my ride you give me a hard time and then complain alot...and then finally after much stress fix my car so that it is still fucked up, but looks decent. I hate Insurance...and the assholes who sell it. Dyana was a claims adjuster, so she can be excluded from this group. My biggest fault is I don't have enough time to be with her. She doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs more friends...I'd be her friend, but it would be tough because of the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. So I guess it's goodbye as usual.

I am inferior

Okay...WTF my truck broke down again. I'm going to look for a new car tommorrow. A friend of mine at work just showed me his new Honda. It was nice, I want a new car...I looked a bit before work, but all I found was overpriced crap. I want a new intrpeid or a slightly used one. I've also been looking at a few other cars, but it's such a pain. I hate shopping....I even hate shopping for cars even more.

It's one of those nights when I can't sleep, and I want to express myself, but I can't. I can't play my guitar for shit ! I tried to write, but even that seems imposible. That made me think of Gavis, as I listen to Luckenbach Texas..she let me read her poem, something so private. My friend almost brother Ken isn't so well. I won't go into detail...because it's his privacy I might violate. This story all starts off with Jeff and the happy Pub. I want to cry...It just makes me look downward on this human race...Why would anyone want to make another human hurt? I can hear the idiot fuckers now...."We beat the fuck out of 'em" such childishness... I can honestly say I love Ken.. The recent weeks I feel we've grown apart, I've detached myself from him and Jeff. That's always how it is though, friends come and go. That's is not what is happening here though. This fucking world...I wanna quit my job! What has it done for me lately? Made me seperate from my friends and want things I didn't want before. All I want in the world is to be normal. But as the agent says humans aren't happy without some struggle and stress. All I want is a car, a house, a love and friends...and lastly happiness. Why is this so impossible? Why can't people be honest? Why can't things be better? Why do the sexes have to be so different? What the fuck? All I know is that I don't know nothing. It all always works out for the best usually..Stephanie had to leave so I could meet Dyana, but is this any better? Yes I think so....Dyana loves me back at least. One thing that bothers me is...I could look at Amy and see whole heartedly that she loved Ken, but what do I know...I'm still a student here...I keep getting taught "Don't trust anyone" is that what I am supposed to learn? There is only a few people I can trust...and two of them are my parents. Almost everyone I've ever met has been a disapointment. Those I know now, I keep expecting to grow into what all the others have been. Maybe things will work out, the funny way they always do. I just fear the loss I've always known.

Things have been going well for me. I need to find a new car though, like pronto! My truck is begining to fall apart...Everytime I check the oil it's empty...it must run right through it...Piece of crap!

I had her all to myself on thursday. It was good, I took her to meet Jeff and Ken, then too see my house. Then we just hung out at her house until about midnight. I left because she had to work the next day. I think I am begining to fall for her, I hope I don't get burned again. I doubt I will...but this earth is an odd place.

So I worked the midnight shift last night, and came back to work today at four. I only got about 5 hours of sleep. I'm kinda tired right now, but it's all good. I have wednesday and thursday off, so I will be hanging out with Dyana a bit. On thursday I'm going to have her all to myself!

Every time I get out my old picture album...I reminisce about old times. It makes me feel all odd inside. I miss the friendships I used to have. I miss the people I haven't seen in years and months. I suppose I'll look back upon right now and miss it, from some vantage point in the future. I feel lost and left out, just because I don't speak to most of the friends I had even 6 months ago. I hang out with a totally new group of people these days. Jeff, Ken and Amy are the only ones I still talk too, and even now we have so much happening in our lives that I rarely see them. I miss Wendy. I miss Jennifer. I miss Bob. I miss Stephanie. I miss Jessica. I miss Jamie. I miss Dave. I miss Mary. I miss Jenny. I miss Amanda. I miss Corey. I miss Chance. I miss Liz. I miss Justin. I miss Melissa. I miss you all.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee how can i possibly explain the ways in which i love you. You give me energy to stay awake when i'm tired. You make me all warm inside when I'm cold. You are my friend Coffee, coffee, COFFEE...!!!

RANCID 2000 is being reviewed, right now, by me! This album reminds me of the old RANCID I knew from their first two albums. The first track named "Don Giovanni" is loosely based upon the opera bearing the same name. Track three is a remake of a old Bob Dylan song. Song 18 "Dead Bodies" reminds me of post nuclear time when half dead Zombies roam the earth in search of BRAINS...."Blackhawk Down" is kinda cool in it's own screaming death accidental way. Rattlesnake reminds me of all the friends that have bit me in the back, when I was least expecting it. "Ex. Dave is a Rattlesnake". I thoroughly enjoyed this album. At first it was dissapointing, just because it was so short, just under forty minutes. Then the more I listened to it and started paying attention to the words. Theres alot in there if you can understand Tim's drable....I give it 3 and 3/4 star's....Definately worth the listen.