Lael...doesn't that just roll off your tongue...Laay Ele....Ahhhh.... :-)

Built new computer last wednesday. If anyone is interested

10x DVD, All in Wonder 32mb, AMD 1000mhz Thunderbird, Asus A7V, IBM Deskstar 30 GB, 256Mb PC 133 SDRAM

It cost me a little over a grand to build an almost top of the line computer. This new computer really rocks, everyone should have one. And don't ever buy a Enlight Case. They are a pain in the ass but look nice. I yanked the old 2 speed CD-Rom burner out of my old machine. Now all I have to do is get my hands on 100ft of Cat5 cable to network the 2 pc's together and share that internet!

Do you ever know when something just feels so right? and you don't want it to be that perfect? It's scary huh? Maybe it is just life taking care of itself. I haven't fallen in love in a long time. In over a year in fact. I keep waiting for "love to come along and kick me in the head". As Jeff would say.

Speaking of Jeff, he's been really nice lately. And I am beginning to wonder what he wants. In other news I am planning on having a BBQ at my house sometime soon in the future. Just a small thing with food and a Hot tub.....but it's so tough being alone.. so why can't I find a girl that wants to be with me. Maybe fate will step in....hopefully...

Tony Rich Project - Nobody knows

Thanks to  janunez@newgen.net.ph for these lyrics.

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows 
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

Chorus:
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling at night and
Nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if 
I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can you get?
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say 
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be loving you still
Chorus:
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow morning I'm hitting 
The dusty road
Gonna find you wherever 
Ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope
You come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

Chorus:
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

My job sucks, I'm not afraid to say. They keep making stupid decisions, that affect me.. Assholes!!!

http://members.fortunecity.com/smokinscott/whazup.html

I should be in bed now. I am being dragged to Busch gardens by my friend Jeff tomorrow. I really don't like busch gardens at all. I don't do roller coasters. I hate walking around, but it's better than doing nothing I suppose. Did I mention I have to get up early? I amused to waking around 1 or 2 pm and then staying awake till like 4 or 5 am. This is gonna suck!

I didn't call and see about wendy today either. I am such a wuss. I am beginning to wonder if it is even really worth it. She no doubtedly has a boyfriend already. Most beautiful women do. So now I gotta ask myself "What am I going to do?" I'd love to be with her, but self doubt often strangles me. I don't want to get myself all fucked up again. What to do? what to do?

Just a perfect day

drink Sangria in the park

And then later

when it gets dark, we go home



Just a perfect day

feed animals in the zoo

Then later

a movie, too, and then home



Oh, it's such a perfect day

I'm glad I spend it with you

Oh, such a perfect day

You just keep me hanging on

You just keep me hanging on



Just a perfect day

problems all left alone

Weekenders on our own

it's such fun



Just a perfect day

you made me forget myself

I thought I was

someone else, someone good



Oh, it's such a perfect day

I'm glad I spent it with you

Oh, such a perfect day

You just keep me hanging on

You just keep me hanging on



You're going to reap just what you sow

Also had another dream. Where I was a superhero. I had 2 sons. Maybe I was one of the sons. But anyways I lost my power and my eldest son decided to torture me and the youngest son. He burned us, and left us in misery as he went out in the world to have fun. Somehow when he came back he lost his powers, and while trying to torture the youngest son I overthrow him and then take my revenge. I pull out his eyes, then put them into another demension. There was this cool 3-d effect as his eyes went through some space-time portal and through like 3 dimensions. I remember one demension being like da vinci-ish. Then I bring them back and put them back in and they don't work right, and he complains. I say "whoops you wanted surgical precision?" So I pull them back out and toss them over my shoulder into the dirt. But they were just eggs and not his real eyes. Then he can see again and learns his lesson I guess. We all end up doing chinups on a high tension electric line. Wendy was there. I guess she was the mother of my 2 kids. Very peculiar dream...

It's been over a year since I've been with Wendy, yet last night I had a dream about her. I dreamt I went looking for her, and found her in a school where I waited outside for her and surprised her as she came out of class. It was the first time I ever fell asleep in a dream. She was glad to see me, and immediately we were back together. We ended up in each others arms. I said "Don't ever leave ever again" in a crying voice as we hugged. And she said "okay". Everthing was perfect. I guess thats why they call it a dream. Wendy is the only girl I have ever really loved, and I still love her...